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May. 8th, 2006 | 09:46 pm

Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero

Stalkers are twats. A cautionary tale from shoshiki.

mightymegs2000 is stalking shoshiki
mightymegs2000’s REAL name : Refugio Gregson
mightymegs2000’s REAL DOB : 07th January 1975
Height :163 cm Weight : 63.8 kg
mightymegs2000 has dreamt about you : 24 times
mightymegs2000 became interested in you : 18th July 2002
mightymegs2000’s latest dream about you
You are stranded with mightymegs2000 on a deserted island and your stalker is trying to coax you towards sex by hoarding all of the food and refusing to give you any until you give in to their wishes.
This is how mightymegs2000 describes your relationship behind your back
‘Things are going great! he still won’t kiss me though in public. he will once I stop calling him in the middle of the night.’
mightymegs2000’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
mightymegs2000 wouldn’t admit to it, but they were responsible for the sudden disappearence of shoshiki’s wristwatch
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
mightymegs2000 recently spent a months salary, tattooing your head onto the inside of both of their thighs.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
I think I’ve just creamed myself thinking about you. There’s no tissue paper in the house to clear up the mess so I’ve used this card instead.

The Police
No. calls to the police : 14 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Police!?!? mightymegs2000’s in my backyard again stealing clothes off of our washing line. This is the 10th time in a week for fucks sake."
mightymegs2000’s Police File
Personally I think we should have shot mightymegs2000 whilst we had the chance.

Testimonies about mightymegs2000
cate1130 - A withered old hag
‘I use the word cunt sparingly - it’s more effective that way. I’ve spent all morning texting mightymegs2000, with that word playing a key role in most of my messages.’
bubblezgirly - Car wreck of a human
‘Uncool and unhip mightymegs2000 is just plain shit!’
un4givable - Stoner of the crows
‘It’s odd, I’ve known some weird fucks in my time and mightymegs2000 and shoshiki would definitely top that list.’

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Comments {10}


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from: shoshiki
date: Jul. 16th, 2006 03:36 pm (UTC)


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