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Jun. 5th, 2003 | 01:56 pm

OK.. since I know the mojority of you prolly don't read Maxim.. I thought I would be a nice boy and put some of my favorite jokes form the last issue here :-D

OK.. so... 4 guys are out golfing one afternoon start getting annoyed by a very slow group ahead of them. After another 15 minutes of waiting, they decide to play through. The first 3 tee off and each nearly hits the other group. Just as the 4th guyeeing up, the course superintendent runs up yelling "HEY! give those guys a break! they are blind!"
"we are sorry" says the 3 guys.
The 4th guy angrily picks up his driver and whacks the ball right into one of the blind mens carts.
"FUCK 'EM," he says. "They could have played last night!"


A man dies and appears at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done a good deed?" asks St. peter.

"Sure, one time I came across a gang of bikers who were threatening a woman," The man says. "I walked up to the leader and punched him in the face, kicked over his bike, and told him, 'You leave her alone or you'll answer to me."

"That was very brave of you, when did this happen?" says St. Peter.

----"About 2 seconds ago"


Little Johnny is in Math class one day when his teacher calls on him.
"johnny, if I give you $100," she says, "and you give $25 to Mary, $25 to Sally, and $25 to Lucy, what would you have?"
Johnny thinks for a second and answers," An Orgy".

this is my favorite... sorry to any blonds

A blonde who is having financial troubles decides to kidnap a child for ransom. She writes on a piece of paper: "I've kidnapped your son. Leave $10,000 behind the Oak Tree in the park tomorrow at 7AM -The Blonde."
She walks over to the park, grabs a little boy and pins the note on his jacket, and tells him to run home.
The next morning, the blonde goes back tot he park, where she sees the boy standing behind the Oak Tree.
"I'm supposed to give you this," he says, handing her a brown bag. As she counts the money, she notices a new note pinned to his jacket: "for the record, I can't believe that one blonde would do this to another."

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Comments {5}


(no subject)

from: thatgirlcaitlin
date: Jun. 5th, 2003 11:00 am (UTC)

Adam reads Maxim.
I steal it and read it sometimes.
I like to know what's going on in that thing.

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from: shoshiki
date: Jun. 5th, 2003 10:14 pm (UTC)

LOL.. it's a magazine about.. well.. nothing of usefulness really.. lol

guess thats why it makes it a good bathroom magazine for most guys...

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(no subject)

from: thatgirlcaitlin
date: Jun. 6th, 2003 07:55 am (UTC)

Hahaha. <3

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Everybody's Girl

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from: herince_emyn
date: Jun. 5th, 2003 11:08 am (UTC)

I love blonde jokes! Here's one I like, slightly changed somewhat because I only remember the punchline and not the set-up. So I had to do some improvising. Anyway, here it is:

An group of 12 blondes and one brunette went on an expedition in the rain forest. They were having fun exploring, when they came across a rope bridge over a gorge. The women set out across the bridge, and when they were halfway across the bridge when the ropes started to break. All the women grabbed onto a rope and when half of the bridge fell apart, they were all left hanging onto the other half that was momentarily still intact. They realized that they only had a couple minutes at the most before the rest of the ropes would snap, and they would fall to their deaths. The brunette decided that she would let go of the rope and fall, hopefully buying the blondes a few extra minutes to scoot across the rest of the rope bridge, and possibly make it to safety. The brunette announced her decision to the dismay of the blondes. The brunette gave a very short, but very touching speech about the meaning of friendship and how she'll never forget the blondes or regret her decision.

The blondes applauded.

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from: angelshupe
date: Jun. 6th, 2003 06:13 am (UTC)

ha, those were funny! I liked the orgy joke most tho.


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