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Apr. 18th, 2003 | 03:00 am



Late Night Take on the War in Iraq...



"Today, President Bush announced he's been mispronouncing the name of Iraq all along. He said it's actually pronounced Syria."
-Jay Leno

"Now President Bush is saying Syria has weapons of mass destruction. Gee, I wonder where he is headed with this."
-David Letterman

"The press keeps asking President Bush when will this war end? I think the war will end officially the day after the 2004 elections. If President Bush learned anything from his father it was don't end a war too soon."
-Jay Leno

"President Bush said this week that Slovakia has already offered their help in de-mining Iraq. And listen to this - Exxon and Mobil have offered their
help in de-oiling Iraq."
-Jay Leno

"Yesterday in downtown Baghdad they toppled a statue of Sean Penn."
-David Letterman

"I don't care what they say about weapons of mass destruction. Iraq is just a horrible place. Listen to what our troops have found over there:
torture chambers, nerve gas, all-male country clubs."
-David Letterman

"All over Baghdad, Iraqi looters have been breaking into banks and walking out with millions of dollars in Iraqi money. As a result, they now qualify
for President Bush's tax cut."
-Conan O'Brien

"We got one in the win column this week. Of course, questions remain about this war: How long our soldiers will stay? How long before democracy takes
hold? How long before those statues of Hussein turn up on eBay?"
-Bill Maher

"Governor Pataki in New York says he knows what to do. He said we should take the toppled statues of Saddam Hussein, melt them down and put them in
a new World Trade Center - to serve as a permanent reminder that America is a country that cannot tell Arabs apart."
-Bill Maher

"The annual White House Easter egg hunt is scheduled for next week. President Bush told reporters he still has no definitive knowledge where the eggs might be or if, in fact, they are alive or dead. Regardless, the administration said they plan to spend $70 billion looking for the eggs and then not find them."
-Tina Fey

"The Bush administration is absolutely ecstatic, as you might expect, about the way things turned out this week. Ari Fleischer said the president's quote when he watched the events in Baghdad was, quote: 'Freedom's taste is unquenchable.' And then he later admitted that the new Iraqi government is sponsored by Pepsi."
-Bill Maher

"We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours."
-David Letterman

"We have an important decision to make now about who controls Iraq. You know, that's a critical question, because it's who we're going to be fighting in five to ten years."
-Jay Leno

"And now the really difficult part: We have to rebuild Iraq into a strong and independent nation that will one day hate the United States."
-David Letterman


And if you didn't find any of them funny.. then.. well.. I dunno... tell me, what IS funny???

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Comments {4}

Benedicte

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from: _chillynights
date: Apr. 18th, 2003 03:13 am (UTC)
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Off topic, but... This is Benedicte from thesedreams, would you care to add my new journal? (_chillynights).If not I would miss your friends-only posts. ;)

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from: morgan_
date: Apr. 18th, 2003 07:14 am (UTC)
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you are a butthole for not calling me Don >:O

:P

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Don

Re:

from: shoshiki
date: Apr. 18th, 2003 07:18 am (UTC)
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I'm sorry... I got extra busy and forgot all about it... Thats why I told ya to call me on the 800 number...

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from: sinisterbunny
date: Apr. 18th, 2003 12:13 pm (UTC)
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hehe XD that is funny..

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