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Jan. 27th, 2003 | 06:51 pm

You know you've lived in Syracuse too long when...

You know every possible cat-related Solvay joke.

During your morning drive, you can accurately forecast how warm the day will become judging by the intensity of the stench wafting off Onondaga Lake.

You know the correct pronunciation of "Pompey."

You no longer need to brace your eardrums when exiting the pressurized Carrier Dome.

You take out-of-town friends on drives past developer Bob Congel's house on Woodchuck Hill Road.

The word "iniquity" inspires images of a bejeweled hand gesturing from the edge of a grainy black-and-white television screen on Channel 3's Monster Movie Matinee.

You call the intersection of Salina and Jefferson streets "Downcity."

You can tell all the Hafner establishments apart.

You know the name of the guy who does all the voice-overs for WCNY-Channel 24.

You go to Sainte Marie Among the Iroquois and amuse yourself by asking the 17th-century "re-creators" what they think of the ongoing waterfront redevelopment project.

You still refer to 500 S. Salina St. as the Chimes Building and Sainte Marie Among the Iroquois as the French Fort.

Your children dream of being on WIXT-Channel 9's "Storm Team."

You saw Vanessa Williams when she made local appearances as Miss Greater Syracuse.

Your chest bursts with pride when Syracuse's climate runs as the top story on cable TV's Weather Channel.

You know the three women cited by the name of the now-defunct but once-delicious Caroma Restaurant.

You have the time and temperature number memorized. Extra points if you recall it as GR4-8481; double points if you know GR stood for Granite.

You're beginning to suspect that the time and temperature lady actually died years ago and her voice is now computer-generated and preserved for all eternity.

You know where to find parking spaces in Skaneateles. Extra points for finding free parking spaces anywhere in downtown Syracuse (see Syracuse Shortcuts sidebar).

You're surprised that people from other parts of the country know nothing about lacrosse.

You stood in a long line to see Blow Up at the Cinema East, when pubic hair did yet not have an MPAA rating.

Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.

You miss Bowling for Dollars and its host, Bud Hedinger.

The waitresses at the Dinosaur Bar-B-Que are intimidated by you, instead of vice versa.

You recall the days when Tobe's Cherry Street smoker was the only bona fide barbecue in town.

You remember the key to open the door of local TV's Magic Toy Shop.

You think Nancy Larraine Hoffmann carelessly abandoned a promising career as a go-go dancer.

You know that Onondaga Lake Parkway is really Route 370, which used to be Route 57 and is called Second Street in the village of Liverpool, and you know that Tulip Street, Morgan Road and Euclid Road are actually one and the same roadway.

Your idea of fun is to pack a picnic lunch and go watch the mosquitoes get sprayed in Cicero.

You know what a "spiedie" is and pronounce "coney" like it has two o's.

You automatically give speeding cars with Canadian license plates the right of way on I-81.

You think that they really don't have enough weather coverage on TV and radio.

You remember when Armond Magnarelli had a real head of hair and Stan Colella was skinny as a rail.

They've chopped down a tree from your property and dragged it into Clinton Square for the holidays.

You've eaten clams surrounded by the clamshell-covered walls at McCarthy's on South Salina Street or Cap'n Mac's Clam Snug on Erie Boulevard East.

You remember doughnuts at Abe's and burgers at Tarbe's Grill.

You think they could squeeze in a few more parking spaces downtown if they'd only get rid of that pesky Jerry Rescue monument.

You can determine how much a person's house is worth by the way he or she pronounces "Skaneateles" (see sidebar on How to Talk Like a Syracusan).

You know in your heart that before the apocalypse, the yin-yang sign at Marble Farms ice-cream shop will start revolving again. Extra points if you remember when it did revolve.

When the wind blows just right, you can tell when steel is being poured at Crucible Specialty Metals.

You can explain to visitors what salt potatoes are.

You remember when the original Phoebe's served soul food.

You heard Chuck and Gap Mangione perform at the 800 Club as the Jazz Brothers.

You already feel kind of nostalgic about the slowly disappearing tank farms of Oil City.

You remember Fairmount Fair. Bonus points for remembering it before it expanded at the western end; double points for remembering it before it was enclosed.

You've shopped at the Penn Can Mall. Bonus points if you remember its jingle or know that it's named Penn Can because of its location between Pennsylvania and Canada.

You define summer as three months of bad sledding.

You remember a Democratic congressman being elected from Onondaga County.

You know not to drive through Baldwinsville's Four Corners between 3 and 7 p.m.

Your favorite memory of former Mayor Lee Alexander is of him strolling into a Hotel Syracuse elevator with a blonde on one arm and a brunette on the other.

You've attended a Syracuse Firebirds game.

You held season tickets to both Syracuse Blazers hockey and Syracuse Scorpions soccer games.

You attended a Syracuse Chiefs game at MacArthur Stadium. Bonus points if you attended a Chiefs game at Municipal Stadium.

You've shopped at Switz's novelty store in North Syracuse.

You know how to decode the weather star on top of the MONY Tower (see sidebar).

You found out that Post-Standard political correspondents Gus and Luther F. Bliven were not two different people.

You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.

The mosquitoes in your yard have legal landing lights.

You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.

You still harbor mixed feelings toward Peter Andreoli for prosecuting John Mulroy and other local Republicans for political fund-raising shakedowns.

You saw the Police and the Romantics at the Firebarn Tavern before they had any hits.

You've eaten a frittata at Poodle's and Jim's on South Salina Street or Mario's Little Gem Diner (now known as Doc's Little Gem Diner).

Your favorite radio talk show host will always be Corny O'Leary.

Attending the State Fair is a family tradition, and you go more than three times during the 12 days it's open.

You remember when the limebeds broke and oozed out everywhere.

You've shopped at the Tri-County Mall.

You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.

The mayor greets you on the street by your first name.

You characterize the four seasons as winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.

Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six-pack of Genny Cream Ale and a bucketful of Buffalo wings.

You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.

Half the change in your pocket is Canadian, eh?

The pungent smell once emitted from the Corenco rendering plant on Erie Boulevard East still lingers in your mind's nose.

You keep the snow tires on your truck all year because it ain't worth taking them off for only two months.

The Westcott Theater still makes you think of the long-running romance A Man and a Woman, and memories of the old Franklin Art cinema make you think of Linda Lovelace's Deep Throat.

You know that Speach, Curtis, Goudy and Knapp are actually Italian names.

You remember when Doug's Fish Fry had only one location, and you remember when owner Doug Clark actually liked the First Lady.

You know that anybody named Tarolli either hails from Solvay or has relatives there.

You still think of Channel 9's Mike Price as Baron Daemon.

You've noticed that True Value Hardware on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.

You remember when all the hookers worked on South Warren Street and most of them were transvestites.

You think driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow and snowbanks protect you from the guardrails.

You know the service elevator shortcut out of Hotel Syracuse's 10th-floor Grand Ballroom.

You suffer a heart attack while shoveling snow out of your driveway

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Comments {3}

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from: shoshiki
date: Jan. 27th, 2003 09:44 pm (UTC)

Your children dream of being on WIXT-Channel 9's "Storm Team."
Dave Eichorn is insane.

Channel 9 sucks anyways... 5 is worse... You watch those 2 sations and you get the "happy news" you watch channel 3... and the first 10 minutes is all the bad shit... the murders, rapes, fires, etc... Half the stuff channel 3 shows 9 or 5 never bother showing... Makes me laugh...
Plus, The weather cat! How can you go wrong!!

Your chest bursts with pride when Syracuse's climate runs as the top story on cable TV's Weather Channel.
Doesn't everyone's? ::shakes fist at Buffalo::

Yeah well... we are gonna show those western NY people this year ;-)

You attended a Syracuse Chiefs game at MacArthur Stadium.
I still can't believe they named the damn thing P&C Stadium. Mercenary bastards

Try you went to MAYBE one game a year before they moved.. Now you won't go cause they don't allow smoking in the OUTDOOR stadium...
That just makes no sense... Then they wonder why no one goes to the games anymore.. LOL People used to like sitting back with a cigar!

You've shopped at Switz's novelty store in North Syracuse.
Bonus points if you remember Oscar, triple bonus points if you shopped at the store in the plaza across the street from the great Gothic Victorian monstrosity.

How could one NOT remember Oscar!!??

Half the change in your pocket is Canadian, eh?
And you have no idea how much it irritates me that I can't get away with that down here.

Hmmmm, I was only questioned about it one time.. and they tried telling me it wasn't worth as much... so I told them to bring it to a bank in NY and see if they take it for what it is actually worth.. LOL

You still think of Channel 9's Mike Price as Baron Daemon.
But of course!

OK... Mike Price's son?
He went to school with me... Talk about a drugged up kid... By the 8th grade god only knows what kind of stuff he put in his system...
He disappeared after 9th grade or so... I dunno what ever happened to him....

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from: amylee1178
date: Jan. 28th, 2003 08:22 pm (UTC)

LOL I love it. Especially the 'four seasons'

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from: shoshiki
date: Jan. 30th, 2003 10:07 am (UTC)

LOL I have lived here all my life and didn't know about some of these.. LOL

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