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Nov. 20th, 2002 | 07:18 pm
mood: flirtyflirty

I thought this was funny... and if you have already seen it or you don't think it is funny... Then don't read it :-P :-P :-P :-P hehehe
OK... here goes...

Numerous people were interviewed and asked the simple question...
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

And here are some of the answers....

GEORGE W. BUSH

I don't think I should have to answer that question.

AL GORE

I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

RALPH NADER

The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when
I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART

If the chicken crossed the road on my property, I would be fully justified in blocking its exit until the local authorities could arrive to arrest it for trespassing. I am a private person and should not have to be subjected to the "innocent mistakes" of common chickens, that is of course, unless the chicken had a really really good stock tip. Did I say that?

JERRY FALWELL

Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side". "That's what "they" call it - the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why he crossed, we never knowed!! The chicken did not like the road. He did not like that little toad....

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, up hill, barefoot, in the snow, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS\

Isn't that intewesting? In a few moments we will be wistening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwahming story of how it obercame a seeewious case of molting and went on to accompwish its wifewong dweam of cwossing the road.

JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX

It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

VOLTAIRE

I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN

Chicken????

KEN STARR

I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the President of the United States of America in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he cooperates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have been completed.

CAPTAIN KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES

I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook---and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN

The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE

And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road" And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS

I missed one?---------

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Comments {7}

Chickens That Cross Roads

from: nightowl301
date: Nov. 21st, 2002 01:05 am (UTC)
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That was FUNNY! I wanna hear Neal Bootrz's take on the chicken crossing the road...

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Don

Re: Chickens That Cross Roads

from: shoshiki
date: Nov. 21st, 2002 09:54 am (UTC)
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Eh, just make it up.. I am sure you could do it :-D

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Re: Chickens That Cross Roads

from: nightowl301
date: Nov. 27th, 2002 11:04 am (UTC)
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I finally got to post it and add soem of my own like howard sterna nd lorena bobbitt... THey are all after youres...

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¿Ð¡®tÿ~*~ßlôÑÐË?

(no subject)

from: princess_belle
date: Nov. 21st, 2002 06:34 am (UTC)
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Hey,
i fount your lj thur a friends and was wondering if you*d mind if i added you to my list? if you want you check out my lj info page and add me too, if you want. :*D

<3, Christin@

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Don

(no subject)

from: shoshiki
date: Nov. 21st, 2002 09:48 am (UTC)
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You look like youa re really cool :-D
I added ya to my friends list :-D

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¿Ð¡®tÿ~*~ßlôÑÐË?

Re:

from: princess_belle
date: Nov. 21st, 2002 09:59 am (UTC)
Link

thank you,
i*ve added you back.

<3, Christin@

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Amy

(no subject)

from: amygodess
date: Nov. 21st, 2002 11:16 pm (UTC)
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roflmao

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