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Feb. 7th, 2003 | 04:53 pm

kitty78 posted this... and since there are like NO guys who read my journal.. (i know.. there is a whole 3 of you)... I will post this for all you ladies...
I'm sure you will enjoy it...
And I can post this cause unfortunatelly... I think guys are like this... (I'm not though.. and NO.. I am not fucking gay)


MAN BASHING TIME!!

TIME FOR SOME MAN-BASHIING!

Why do men become smarter during sex?
Because they are plugged into a genius.


Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.


Why did God put men on earth?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.


Why don't women have men's brains?
Because they don't have penises to put them in.

What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
THEY're intended for children, but it's the men who usually
end up playing with them.

Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapour
lock.

Why do men masturbate?
It's sex with someone who loves them.

Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
So he can tell if he is coming or going.

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it
take To do the dishes?
Both of them.

Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.


Why does it take one million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They won't stop to ask directions.

What do men and sperm have in common?
They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human
being.

How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys TWO cases of beer.


What is the difference between men and government bonds?
The bonds mature.


Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.


How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know, it has never happened.

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and
good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every
night?
A widow.


Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in the bed and go to the
fridge.

How do you get a man to do sit ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.

What did God say after creating Adam?
I must be able to do better than that.

What did God say after creating Eve?
Practice makes perfect.


How are men and parking lots alike?

Good ones are always taken, free ones are mostly handicapped
or extremely small.

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in
common?
They are married.

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Comments {10}

(no subject)

from: grungediva
date: Feb. 7th, 2003 01:58 pm (UTC)
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LMAO!!!!! that made my day right there. =)

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Rev. Otana

(no subject)

from: otana
date: Feb. 7th, 2003 02:19 pm (UTC)
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and since there are like NO guys who read my journal..

Ooh, you ladykiller you. ~_^

Those shall be reposted in my journal later. XD

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Don

Re:

from: shoshiki
date: Feb. 8th, 2003 10:16 pm (UTC)
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Hey, I can't help if is guys are assholes....

and they make shitty friends too

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(no subject)

from: opettaa
date: Feb. 7th, 2003 02:24 pm (UTC)
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lol. that's exactly what I needed today.

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(Deleted comment)

Don

Re:

from: shoshiki
date: Feb. 7th, 2003 07:06 pm (UTC)
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OH NO!!!!!! I'll add ya back

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Don

Re:

from: shoshiki
date: Feb. 7th, 2003 07:07 pm (UTC)
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gotta have a womens view on a couple things :-D

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james

(no subject)

from: fgcusabre
date: Feb. 7th, 2003 03:25 pm (UTC)
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all i am gonna say is GRRRRRRR

girls suck....im tired of them....its all their fault...

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Kayleen

(no subject)

from: un4givable
date: Feb. 8th, 2003 08:17 am (UTC)
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Don't grrrrrr..... not all women are bad. You just gotta a sucky one.

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Don

Re:

from: shoshiki
date: Feb. 8th, 2003 10:29 pm (UTC)
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there ARE a lot of sucky ones though...

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Care

(no subject)

from: careleswhisper
date: Feb. 7th, 2003 08:33 pm (UTC)
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That was funny. Thanks for the laughs. :)

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