?

Log in

No account? Create an account

(no subject)

« previous entry | next entry »
Jan. 29th, 2003 | 03:27 pm

If you want someone who will bring you the paper
without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section...buy a dog.

If you want someone willing to make a fool of
himself simply over the joy of seeing you...buy a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in
front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it...buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any
hour, for as long and wherever you want...buy a dog.

If you want someone to scare away burglars, without
a lethal weapon which terrifies you and endangers the lives of your family and all the neighbors...buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote,
doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you and watch a romantic movie...buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your
bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores...buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you
do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually...buy a dog.

But on the other hand, if you want someone who will
never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night, only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is
solely to ensure his happiness, Then my friend. . .
Buy a cat....................

(Any resemblance to a man is purely coincidental)




1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10. Same work .. more pay.
11. Wrinkles-add character.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. The world is your urinal.
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
20. You can open all your own jars.
21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
27. No maxi-pads.
28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 24 relatives, on December
24th, in 24 minutes.
37. One mood, ALL the damn time.


They are funny though :-D

Link | Leave a comment |

Comments {10}

}l{ Angel }l{

::giggles::

from: italianangel78
date: Jan. 29th, 2003 12:37 pm (UTC)
Link

Hey hon...these are just toooo funny. I don't know where or how you found them, but they are really cute.

Reply | Thread

(no subject)

from: ex_lagringa850
date: Jan. 29th, 2003 01:30 pm (UTC)
Link

#15 says it all...

Reply | Thread

Don

Re:

from: shoshiki
date: Jan. 30th, 2003 09:57 am (UTC)
Link

I only would if they were small.. LOL... I don't like big uns :-D

Reply | Parent | Thread

Care

(no subject)

from: careleswhisper
date: Jan. 29th, 2003 01:36 pm (UTC)
Link

The list is great. :) Made me laugh.

Reply | Thread

irisira03

(no subject)

from: irisira03
date: Jan. 29th, 2003 02:02 pm (UTC)
Link

That is exactly why I love my dog ... except he doesn't scare away burgalars (he's afraid of his own shadow), and he doesn't fetch the paper ...

Reply | Thread

Don

Re:

from: shoshiki
date: Jan. 30th, 2003 09:56 am (UTC)
Link

LOL.... should find a nice guy :-D

Reply | Parent | Thread

irisira03

(no subject)

from: irisira03
date: Jan. 29th, 2003 02:06 pm (UTC)
Link

One mood, ALL the damn time.

THAT isn't true!

Reply | Thread

Don

Re:

from: shoshiki
date: Jan. 29th, 2003 03:28 pm (UTC)
Link

I know that!!!
I said I didn't think some of them were true!!

But, because I found it.. I thought I would post it just the way it was...

Reply | Parent | Thread

Kristen

(no subject)

from: luckydragongirl
date: Jan. 31st, 2003 02:34 pm (UTC)
Link

As a feline lover it pains me to admit how true the first one is...

Reply | Thread

Don

Re:

from: shoshiki
date: Feb. 1st, 2003 11:29 pm (UTC)
Link

LOL... hmmm.. maybe thats why women like cats so much?
They think they are like worthless men?
(cause women are attracted to worthless men too... never a nice guy like myself...)

Reply | Parent | Thread